Of course we all need great sleep. But it eludes so many of us, especially widows. We worry, we are scared, our minds race with to-do lists and, of course, we are alone in our beds. 

But good sleep is an essential part of healing. Our minds need a break, and our bodies need to be restored.

My sleep was terrible after I lost Steve. I decided to make sleep a priority and made many changes that dramatically improved the quality of my sleep. Since so many people suffer with insufficient sleep, I wanted to share some of the things that I have done that have made a world of difference. 

💤  I have regular sleep and wake times. These are non-negotiable. I go to bed at 9:30 pm and wake up at 6 am. That does mean that I go to bed before my kids. I do not wait for them to come home from being out. I need my sleep. I am trusting and having faith that I have taught them right and that they will follow the rules. I also have a Ring doorbell and can check in the morning to make sure they came home on time. You know what?… They always have.

💤  I do not have a clock in my room. When I wake up at night, I do not want to know what time it is. Otherwise my mind starts going… I only have two hours left to sleep. Or the other way… I have six hours left to sleep. Then if I don’t get to sleep right away, I start the countdown of how many hours are remaining. And my sleep is doomed.

💤  My phone is in a cabinet, put away and set on ‘do not disturb’. I do not have it by my bed. I have an iPhone, and the important people in my life are able to break through the ‘do not disturb’ if there is an emergency. Having my phone put away also prevents me from checking it in the middle of the night.

💤  I have a regular wind-down routine starting at 9 pm. By doing the same things every day, it signals to my body that sleep is coming.

💤  I bought a Whoop. The Whoop is a wearable that tracks my sleep. OK, I did start to become a bit obsessed with sleep. I want to know my REM, deep sleep, light sleep and awake times so I can continually make tweaks to improve my sleep. My current focus is on heart rate variance (HRV). HRV can indicate many different things, but at a high level it is an indicator of stress on your body, whether that is physical stress like an intense workout or too much alcohol or sickness.  

💤  I have stopped drinking wine and alcohol. There is so much good about this in all areas of my life, but for sleep it is a game changer. Alcohol affects the quality and amount of your REM sleep, which is so important for dreaming, memory, emotional processing and healthy brain development.

💤  I keep my room cool. OK, I am in menopause. For those who are there with me or will be there one day, the quality of your sleep is significantly impacted by the temperature of your room. Lower that thermostat. 

💤  I have black-out shades. I must sleep in darkness. That also means there are no lights from any electronics, night lights or any other devices in the room.  

💤  I have a TV in my room, but it is in a closed cabinet. It is best practice not to have a TV in your room, but having it out of sight is great. Frankly, I do not really watch it anymore in my room. Of course, if you do watch TV, do not watch anything scary or upsetting before you go to bed. I gave up the news years ago.  Now, I read or listen to a news podcast that has a summary of what is going on in the world. 

💤  I do take a sleep supplement that includes magnesium. That helps.  

💤  I do a 10-minute sleep meditation right before bed. The lights are off, I am all ready to go, and that puts me right into a sound slumber.

💤  I also listen to a white noise app. I don’t want to hear any little background noises that could awaken me. I live by a busy street, and there are sometimes emergency vehicles or loud cars that go by. I don’t want to hear that. My kids know that I do this. If they need me, they know that they can get out of bed and come to me.  

Hopefully some of these tips help to improve your sleep.  

Here’s to better zzzz’s.

Some of My Favorite Things:

🛌  White noise app

😴  Whoop

📖  Energize!: Go from Dragging Ass to Kicking It in 30 Days. I just bought this book and am doing a daily sleep challenge with the author next week. I’ll let you know how it goes.